the first day of the week in john's gospel

i am struck by the different behaviours of peter,john, and mary magdalene at the tomb that morning early on the first day of the week.

mary seems to be that part of each of us and of the church that is seeking truly to see god. her seeking, her catechumenate, even if it be unconscious to us, prompts peter, our active body, and john, our soul which the holy one loves, to join the search. the soul may be urgent, outrunning the body, but unless the body also enters into the mystery, it is limited. baptism preceeds mystagogy; then the soul believes. then usually we go back to our home.

but sometimes that truly seeking part of us, that womb within us which is the ark for the spirit, lingers, takes a second, and sees the lord who calls us by name.

the celtic church at the council of whitby claimed to be the church of john, and some contemporary folks seeking to recover celtic traditions make the same claim. but let us not dismiss too quickly the role of peter's church. urged on by the holy desires of mary, peter also has seen the lord, and has preserved the possibility of that vision and methods for of achieving it and sharing it (think of the sacraments and the vatican library), even if peter has not always seen the vision clearly himself. for the salvation of the world, for the understanding of the vision, peter and john must remain friends. they "went away again," remember, "unto their own home." (john 20:10) and they would be together in the iconic healing of the "man lame from his mother's womb" in the third chapter of acts (a story worthy of very careful reading).

"but mary stood without at the sepulchre weeping; and as she wept, she stooped down into the sepulchre and seeth two angels in white." then, "she turneth herself back, and saw jesus." most of us, i suspect, would feel pretty good about ourselves if we saw two angels. but mary--the true contemplative--turns herself away because she wants to see jesus, not some messenger no matter how well attired.

now obviously this text is rich with much more meaning than this feeble discussion, but even this cursory reading is, i think, useful as an indication of the function and values of different parts of our persons and of the church, parts we often hold in competition (consider the foolish popular discussion of the assumedly gnostic gospel of mary) or to rank. all are necessary. without the desire to see the lord, which is one of the major themes of john's gospel, then the organized church, with st. peter's basilica and st. john lateran, would be no more than a religious disneyland. but that part of us affirms that there is more to life than the emptiness of the tomb. st. john lateran is outside the walls--a very important image, because to understand the mystery we must always go outisde the walls. then supported by the church active and meditative life, the seed of holy desire flowers in contemplation.

by the way, one of the aspects of st. chad's life that makes him so remarkable was the way he held these three aspects of his person together. but that is a tale for another night.